♥ The freedom i've always wanted

• Saturday, June 30, 2007 10:30 AM

我想要说

看着右手被撕裂的伤口
爱好像曾经停留
而我左手按下号码之后
那首属于我的歌不再播送
默写你的爱过
坦承自己脆弱
对白怎么说表情才不难过
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走
那一秒钟有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后
整夜的风冷得我手颤抖
你在温暖的那头
熟悉路口再一次的路过
等在那角落的人已不是我
在这一切

i miss ISHI!!! =_(

• Friday, June 29, 2007 10:57 PM

i didn't realise life can be so brittle...until today =( and i am starting to miss his presence very badly...

well perhaps, there are just too many harsh facts for us to accept...and i guess this is a really tough truth for me to accept after my grandpa's death...and the only thing we can do now, is just to accept reality and move on with life...and i believe time can wash away all misery...

and i am feeling really tired now...my day was initially a very happy one coz of the outing with my class gals doing shopping and playing pool at orchard....and i really enjoyed myself until the news came when i was playing pool...after which i knew i am just trying to hide my emotions and to stay calm...but after i reached home, the tears just welled up in my eyes...it has been almost 1year plus ever since i such to idolise him...not only because of his looks but his passion for dance and music that really touched me...it made me really want to start to think about my dreams and what i really aspire to become...and i admit that he had a great impact on my life...i will definitely remember the beautiful memories...and i feel that watching him perform on stage had always been a great pleasure, and now i really miss him...from superband, to the soul gatherings, kdf concert, psc night, cineleisure roadshow, autograph session and mdc...these memories will always stay in my heart<3

to ishi...
although people may think u are very foolish to commit suicide, i believe what's important now isn't to critic whether u are wrong to do so...but to know what is done can't be undone...and we just have to accept that u have left us for a more beautiful place and i hope u can continue to stay carefree and cheerful there k?

no matter where you are, just wanna say u will always be remembered as a cheerful, happy-going dancer who is always pursuing your own dreams...and nothing can change the place u hold in my heart...though we may be living in two separate worlds now, i still hope u are doing well in the far-away heaven...continue to rawk on k? i willl be praying for u...and may peace be with u...=)

lots of love<3
-elaine

• Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:28 PM

IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!*
at least for now...=P

yupyup, it's time to take a break b4 we get stressed up by the results again...hahax=X...bet this is a super unforgettable exam i ever had...always haf to end up staying up till late nights mugging when everyone else in the family is already fast asleep...haix...guess i need to 'buck up' le! =)

and so i will be slacking all the way from tmr till mon! hee...and i haf lots to do k? anyway, i am really excited about the post jct activities...muahaha...haf been thinking of how to enjoy life since before the start of jct...=P and i am really really looking forward to our class chalet! yay! *cheers*

anyway, random post>>> WHY WHY LOVE SOO NICE!!! <3
my fav idols acting in this show and the plot is so cute! must watch it when u haf the time k? satisfaction guaranteed!!! *chopchop*

and 1 more exciting news! JJ's album will be out tmr! super excited about this album coz it's really a very different image that he had portrayed in this album...makes him look more mature! bet my sis is more excited than me now...=)

i shall end here coz i nid to bath le! den i shall sleep early tonight, so that i have ample energy to shop tmr! hahax...=D good nite everyone!!!

<3 elaine

• Wednesday, June 20, 2007 9:29 PM

last week!

AH!!! hols are coming to an end in less than 1 week's time! *sighs* time really flies! =( and once school reopens, what awaits us is the dreadful jcts...*sob sob* and i feeling super demoralised looking at the speed of my revision...and this is the 'SLACKEST" holidays i have had throughout my entire life...muahaha~~~so let's just allow nature to take it's course and see how much i can finish studying before this sun...*haix* JIAYOU BAH!!!

anyway, just hope everyone survives the jct! *prays* @_@

• Thursday, June 14, 2007 10:42 PM

I AM 18 TODAY!!!

omg, i am 1 year older now...*sob* just feel that the leap from 17yrs old to 18yrs old is kinda big, and i dun wanna grow up! hahax...1 year older means lots of new challenges for me to face up to, and more importantly to be independent!!! so i guess it's time to grow up! =D

let me start off this post by thanking all the ppl who wished me happy bdae either through sms, friendster or my blog! i am really grateful to u guys for remembering my bdae! heex...=D so, i wanna thank...

~~minsi, huichan, huaqian, sarah, seehui, cindy, evelyn, michelle, meiyin, sijing, liwen, jiaxin, yaqin, janice, yinteen, jiahui, winne, cherylene, hazel, hongzhou, guiliu, yeechuan, yichen, genevieve, ruby, wanchin, yanshan and ruiqi! u guys really make today a very special day for me! =)

today, actually woke up quite early and i was supposed to meet eve and mich at bedok interchange at 10.30...but i ended up being late and i only left home at 10.25...oops! but lucky the bus came in time and i reached parkway at approx 11.05...hahax...=P i super super lucky today...

so we went klunch till abt 2 and i keep 'zao-siah-ing' which made me kinda irritated...=X after that, eve had to go her aunt house so she took the bus opp in direction to ours...me and mich went to bedok interchange and mich went home after that....so i took the train to bugis and i was the second to reach this time! minsi reached there almost half an hour b4 the meeting time, den after that was me, followed by cindy and sarah...and as usual, chan was late again! hahax....should gif her 'the late queen' title...=P after that we went to take neoprints! had really been some time since we last took neoprints together...=)

the neoprints taken today:

after that, we sat down at the foodcourt to have desserts and chatted for quite some time...den we decide to visit huaqian since she had to stay at home to recuperate after her leg got injured... did some grocery shopping for her since she told us she had been eating cup noodles for 3 meals a day! 0_o and we went home after that!

and i super touched by the dvd amz gave me! watched that several times after i reached home and it really made me wanna cry each time i repeat and watch again! really appreciate all your hardwork gals! bet this is one of the best presents i have received this year! *muackz muackz* <3

lots of love,
elaine

• Tuesday, June 12, 2007 10:34 PM

just wanna say a big THANK YOU to all my cg mates for making today such a special day for me!!!

well, as i am typing this post, tears seem to be welling up in my eyes, and i just feel lk weeping... frankly, i admit that i am just too emotional over a matter, other ppl may feel i am dwelling too much into...but i accept this fact...=X today is just like a roller coaster ride to me, lots of stuff for me to be happy but oso lots of stuff for me to be emo over...

7th july, a date i nv knew it would be so impt to me...before today, i might have yearn for the days after jct, but after what happened today, things happened to have taken a turn...i do not yearn as much as the in the past for jct to be over, i just hope 7th july nv comes....=( instead i loathe that day...why must this piece of news come so early? i am just not mentally prepared and i simply can't accept the fact! why must god be so cruel to someone who is turning 18 in two days' time? is it a test for me to learn to grow up? AHHH!!!!!!!!

lots of mixed feelings now, and my mind is simply too occupied for me to be thinking of other stuff at this moment in time...*sobs*

hmm....sorry for being so emo in this post, but i just can't accept the truth that soon...i need time to slowly 'digest' this hard fact, and perhaps time is the best medicine to wash away our sorrows gradually...

but anyway, i really had a wonderful cg lunch and kbox session today~~~thankew for celebrating my bdae in advance and really thanks for the cake and presents....i will definitely treasure it!!!<3

~# karen.genevieve.meiying.ruby.eunice.bridget.jinhui.liatbeng.brian.jingwen.zepeng. U GUYS RAWK!!! =D
to karen: no matter how far the distance may be, just wanna say u will always be in my heart! love u gal! *muackz* friends forever...

• Thursday, June 07, 2007 10:59 AM

Would You Be There by Redwan Ali
One of the most popular song, from the show Mars vs Venus, channel 8. a very nice song with beautiful lyrics! =)

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me?
And touch my lips with tender loving care?
Would you die for me?
Would you run with me?
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

If I am away, would you still think of me?
And wish that you could hold me now?
Would you die for me?
Would you run with me, all the way?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be there to kiss my pain away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be there to kiss my pain away?

Would you be there..for me?

• 10:18 AM

boO!!! back to blog again...=P

just finish my breakfast so decided to come online for awhile b4 i start 'mugging'...and i had to admit i haven started studying 'wholeheartedly'...kinda freaked out now, coz it just seems to me that i cant concentrate and there's just to much to study!!! *stressed* =( well, think i have slackened compared to last year, and results are the best proof...guess i just have to buck up and study what i can in the remaining 2weeks...dun ever doubt about my own capabilities! JIAYOU BAH!!! =D

yesterday, i went to do flag day for lion's home, and i actually feel a great sense of satisfaction after that...coz it's the first time i finish using up the stickers and the tin actually starts to gain weight during the short 2hrs! XD i am super happy! and 1 thing which made me really touched was that there were more elderly who donated than teenagers! that sole fact really made me feel that teenagers are not only politically apathetic but also socially apathetic! (just a generalisation) haix~~~wonder what the whole will be like after 20 yrs...=X

monday was fun if not for the psychometric test...e 4hrs really made me mentally drained and i feel sleepy after the whole session...night games were fun but not as frightening as last year's...so the juniors are really lucky this time round! haha..=)

• Sunday, June 03, 2007 4:38 PM

first week of hols is coming to an end...and it's SO FAST!!! =( happy moments usually dun last...haiz~~~but i am glad i enjoyed the first week of hols doing nth and only slacking...hahax...
hmm, shall start doing some revision tmr...hope it doesn't turn out to be futile! =)

friday's outing was really FUN!!! met up with yinteen, cherylene, jiahui and winne at city hall mrt and we went KBOX!!! woohooo~~~sang lots of songs all the way till the person chase us out of kbox, which is approx 2.25 den...hahax...after that we had to wait for jiaxin, so we went for pool... winne and i being noobs at pool, we only played a few games and left the others to play among themselves...den jiaxin joined us halfway...after pool, the rest said they wanted to shop at suntec while yinteen and jiahui claimed that they need to meet someone and will join us later... after that, *SURPRISE* jiahui and yinteen sat at gelare with an ice-cream cake...and we celebrated my bdae in advance...

THX GALS!!! that's really sweet of u all to plan this surprise~~~

after the celebration, we walked to bugis and took neoprints... yay! though it turned out to be quite small, i really luv it <3...

and for the next few weeks, i haf some events already planned out for me to do!!!

4th june---swimming with minsi and chan

5th june---psychometric test and den NIGHT GAMES for guitar camp!

6th june---flag day, hopefully can meet karen, mingwei and my class gals...

12th june---cg lunch

hopefully, there will be more events coming soon!!! coz i dun wanna lock myself at home to MUG!!! =X hahax...