南拳媽媽-下雨天MV
作詞：LARA 作曲：張傑

下雨天了怎麼辦 我好想你
我不敢打給你 我找不到原因
為什麼失眠的聲音 變得好熟悉
沈默的場景 做你的代替
陪我等雨停

期待讓人越來越沉溺
誰和我一樣 等不到他的誰
愛上你我總在學會 寂寞的滋味
一個人撐傘 一個人擦淚
一個人好累

怎樣的雨 怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實 沒有我你分不出那些
差別 結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過
別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

期待讓人越來越疲憊
誰和我一樣 等不到他的誰
愛上你我總在學會 寂寞的滋味
一個人撐傘 一個人擦淚
一個人好累

怎樣的雨 怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實 沒有我你分不出那些
差別 結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過 別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

怎樣的雨 怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實 沒有我你分不出那些
差別 結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過 別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

好想念下雨天，因为只有在那时候，我不必拼命地掩饰自己的眼泪吧！
一直以来我都以为只要拥有强悍的外表就能掩饰自己内心的脆弱。
原本以为努力地伪装好自己的脆弱就不会那么容易受伤，可是我发现我错了。
内心的脆弱是不能在短时间内变得坚强起来的。
或许我一开始就不应该习惯性地把凡事都往自己身上扛，把自己弄得如此的忙碌，如此的疲惫，可是却没有一个人能了解自己心里的感受。最后，我选择了强颜欢笑，为了只是不想让你们担心。也许是吞了太多的伤心，现在开始有一点消化不良了吧！

没想到只是随便的几句重话，我就足以哭成泪人。即使自己在怎么努力地抬头望着天空，为了只是不让那些不争气的眼泪留下来，可是最终我还是哭了。为什么自己的眼泪总是那么轻易地夺眶而出呢？
只能说昨天是个喜，怒，哀，乐参杂的一天吧！
不知道怎么了，即使一切都告一段落了，我就是开心不起来！
怪不得人都说女人是水做的！=(

人在付出感情的时候是不求回报的
如果总是计较着得失，那就不是真的感情了... ...
--就想赖着你，杨果（ELLA饰）

没错，很多时候我也会感慨自己付出得太多太多，偶尔还会吵着说“我累了！我再也不想管太多了！”
有时候我也会希望有人会懂得珍惜我所付出的，而并非把一切都视为理所当然吧！
只能说人类是自我矛盾的动物！又想付出可是又怕付出太多而受伤，而厌倦。
我想慢慢学会一心一意对待身边的每个人，学会珍惜他们，就算他们不懂我，我也不会介意。
毕竟真心对待一个人好是不需要理由的! =)

anyway, i am damn happy now!!! coz the sound system for this saturday is settled! finally got sth off my head. this problem has been weighing down on me for quite long. but i am glad everything is working out fine! really touched by ELI who is willing to lend us his personal sound system even when it's not really his responsibility to settle this problem. wanna thank him and sueyuen this sat! =D now, i am only left with the special guest! hope to get him tmr! =) *prays*

I AM FEELING FREAKED OUT & STRESSED OUT for the first time in 2010! =X

with sooo little time left, how to survive?!!
need to go temple in the morning, IT meeting at sembawang, amz dinner at tamp plus practising and editing the slides for ab214 all to be done tmr!
i feel sooo helpless and hopeless! and to worsen it all, i feel like crying. why am i sooo weak to actually feel like crying when i know it doesn't help in any way or another???? =(

不知道为什么，总觉得今天的我做什么事都很没心情，好像一个‘活死人’似的。HAIX！到底发生了什么事？=X 有人可以告诉我吗？

为什么我总是没有办法拒绝别人的请求呢？我真的好累好累哦！好想一睡永远不要起来！开心果暂时开心不起来了。=（

莫非每一个人都要在友情和爱情之间做出选择吗？
为什么人一拥有了爱情就被它冲昏了头，就开始忽略了一直陪在自己身边的朋友呢？
难道就那么难在朋友和情人之间寻找一个平衡点吗？我真的不知道。
有时候我真的觉得我开始离你越来越远了，有时我也会怀疑你到底还是不是我以前认识的那个人。
没错，爱情可以填补每个人心里的那个就连友情和亲情填补不了的缺口，但是在你觉得自己的心是完整的时候，你有没有想过也许某一部分已经被你忽略了呢？
有时我真的好希望我可以只拥有亲情和友情那就够了。因为我不想因为另一个他而忘了一直陪在自己身边的她们。
烦！

无意间在FB看到了这段文章。觉得很有意思，就把它放在这里，和你们分享。=）

有种朋友，喜欢却不动情——看完后，你想起了谁呢？
男生说........有种女生让我很喜欢，却不忍动情。

跟那种女生在一起时，会有种温暖的感觉，那感觉并不出自激情的感动, 而是来自于彼此心灵的了解。
真的，跟那种女生在一起时，你不会当你自己是个男生，你们只是圣洁的分享，彼此心中的感动和心灵的交会，没错，当你发现她的心和你是如此贴近时，常会想给她个结实的拥抱，但当接触的一瞬间，相视一笑，有些东西是比爱情更珍贵的。

这种女生当女朋友是种浪费，我害怕她做的我女朋友后,我必须每天守着电话等着她的声音出现，我害怕我必须说些黏腻的话哄她，更加害怕现实的束缚，会限制住纯洁的心。

这种女生，我真的好喜欢，但我不动情，爱她，但遥遥的守护着她，喜欢她，却不占有她。这种感觉真棒，既不用为情所困，为她的行为控制自己喜怒哀乐，又能享有心灵的交融。

有很多人都为交不到女朋友所苦， 但有女朋友真的很好吗? 与其狂烈的追求，相恋如蜜，还不如交个好朋友，淡淡的，却很甘美

女生说............. 有一些男生，很令我动心，但不动情， 怎么说呢？ 因为他们给我的感觉像朋友，真正的朋友。

我可以和他们很坦诚的谈论彼此的爱情观、婚姻观, 以及种种的人生问题。在他们面前， 我会忘记自己是女生，就不会撒娇、嫉妒、耍心眼， 我和他们各站在天平的两端。

我们可以一同看电影、郊游回来， 在车站挥挥手，各自去等自己的车，走自己的路。 这种感觉好极了！ 我觉得自己很有尊严，人的尊严。 信不信？

跟这些男生相处在一起,甚至比跟同类的女生相处来的愉快。 女生的聚会，是黏稠稠的，像一锅浓粥，温暖在胸，但是吃多了会撑，一眨眼又饿，而且很多女生都为情所困，谈来谈去总是心有千千结，别人管也管不完。

跟这些男生相处，就像一同温一壶月光的酒！是给彼此的心灵加养料，让彼此潜在的才能发酵，挥发灵魂的芳香。真的，这些男生所散发出来的生命活力，深深感动着我。
我很惊讶，他们不必从文字、故事的迷林披荆斩棘，就能一眼洞穿人生的奥秘，甚至开始为旁边的同行者掌灯。就能一眼洞穿人生的奥秘，甚至开始为旁边的同行者掌灯。能结交有智能、理想与热情的朋友，是人一生莫大的幸福吧

我是这样着迷于他们高贵的气质， 也感谢他们把我当「朋友」看待，不因为我是女生，就随便说些甜言蜜语来哄我，或者根本不睬我

如果，追求人生的伴侣也必须如此相知相惜，那我实在「舍不得」把这些男生当成男朋友。我害怕一旦变成男女朋友，我就会计较他不送我回家、他不说些好听的动心话，他宁可送我「尼采与上帝」也不送一朵小花…… 我还担心从此他只要我乖乖的陪在一旁，微笑地看他在众人间侃侃而谈；我发问的机会都没有，遑论有所质疑。

似乎两人之间只要渗入感情元素，气氛就不一样了。比如去看一场好电影，有几对情侣在互相依偎陶醉之余, 还能正襟危坐的讨论那场电影的成就？ 在无声胜有声的时刻，那实在太无趣了。
何况，男女朋友总会呕气，甚至最后各奔前程，这就更无趣了. 爱情消逝，友情也跟着淡漠。说什么「我们仍然是好朋友」，都是鬼话 就算这不是一厢情愿找台阶下，而是双方共同的心愿，这心愿也太残忍一点，何苦把自己逼到那么窘迫的境地！

分手而后重逢,能说些什么呢？「纵使相逢应不识」 尤其是当对方的身边又多个人的时候。 对这些男生,我的确是心动而不敢、不忍动情。唯恐不小心逾越分际,徒惹一身烦恼。

当然，偶而会有那么几剎那，会情不自禁、悄悄地流露爱慕之意， 他感觉到了,我也感觉到了, 但是握手的瞬间也只是轻微的感觉，当我们抬头再看看澄澈的天空， 以及对望彼此无私的眼眸

我们知道︰有些东西会比爱情恒久，更值得我们追求。这种默契，是属于男女私情之外的，我如此相信。 男朋友或是丈夫，都是另一个封闭而完整的圆，对我这个圆来说，可能是相交、相切或重叠，甚至根本在另一个空间，八竿子也打不着的。无论如何，我在他面前，还是要保持一个圆的形状，把自己扎成一个花球，随着爱情的频率跳动。

这种默契，是属于男女私情之外的，我如此相信。 可是在这些男生、这些朋友面前，我却可以松开五花大绑，成为一条无限延长的直线，因为不用费心去画一个圆，或是费心去和另一条直线相交叉， 我们只是各自奔跑，志同道合就彼此吸引， 成为两条，甚至一组平行直线，也许不属于同一个平面， 但是彼此知道、看得见、互相扶持、互相敬重。 我期求这样的友情，这样的男生令我动心而不动情。

cant believe the week is comin to an end. everything seems to be moving past sooo fast this sem, especially time...=(

really tired these 2days as they were mainly filled with events and gift-making session. *yawns* and i feel asleep during msn convo yesterday! just wanna apologise to all those hu talked to me but failed to get my immediate replies last night. i probably have fallen asleep and forgot to reply u when i woke up! SORRY!!! =XXX

and dunno wat happened to me, but i am suffering from flu and sore throat! AHHH! how can i fall sick during this time of the year? i better drink lots of water and avoid all kinds of fried/oily food to make sure i recover b4 saturday comes! i dun want to be sick during cny!

i wanna drink LIANG TEH!!! =D

got woken up by my mum to do the baking early in the morning at 8am. and apparently, i was really reluctant to drag myself out of bed especially when i slept only at 1am last night. and eventually, i still surrendered! woke up to wash up before doing the pineapple tarts. =) had fun doing the baking and i felt sooo satisfied with me and my mum's combined efforts! coz we did like 4small bottles of pineapple tarts within 4hrs! hahah=D

this is before they were sent for baking...

and TADAH! the final product! *yummy*

yay! today was yet another meaningful day well-spent with the elderly. =)
i think i am falling more and more in love with volunteering<3>
hoping to pursue my ambitions...and i really hope sooo.

well, today i was a little pissed with xxx. sometimes i felt that when you are just too nice, they kinda taken advantage of u. RAAR! i really hope such stuff won't happen again, coz i just wanna make sure u guys get ur priorities right. when u are there for a purpose, put ur heart into doing it!!! perhaps it's just a bad decision. *disappointed*

今天我又想起‘你’了。我好怀念小时候的我们，只是单纯地对彼此好。如果时间可以倒流，我好希望我们可以一直保持联络。=(

overheard this song from peishan's blog and initially i felt that the song is nice because the melody is very catchy. but today, i went to google the lyrics, and i realise it's just so sweet and meaningful. 一字一句都打倒心坎里去了！

牵心的朋友- 大嘴巴

抛给你一罐可乐冰冰你的头痛
老规矩失恋闯祸准备流泪要先猛喝
有种感情很独特像一首电台的歌
再遥远一响起你会懂

我是你心牵着心的朋友
像流星陪伴夜空一句问候难过就好了
我们是挺你到底的朋友
笑容来自你的快乐听暗号我们就喊又

未来的路像郊游沿途太多坑洞
不小心跌个昏头把手放在我肩头
有相聚就会分头走但想念可以漫游
一拨通胸口就好暖和
我是你心牵着心的朋友
像流星陪伴夜空一句问候难过就好了
我们是挺你到底的朋友
笑容来自你的快乐听暗号我们就喊又

rap :不知道时空已经不再相同
嘿但是有总感动怎么放也不会久
在你左右陪你吹风再好好用力哭个够
然后我帮你抛到脑后我会陪你到最后)
你告白陪你约他你很闷找我哈啦
我们有另一个家不同站一起成长
就等你一句话随时你想我的话

我们是心牵着心的朋友铃声只为你接通
你回头都有我在等候
我是你心牵着心的朋友
像暖风融入天空城市海边我都陪你走
我们是永远倾吐的朋友
做最好用的垃圾桶有苦痛告诉我我们懂

有苦痛告诉我
我们懂

人的一生当中都会遇见很多莫名其妙闯进自己世界的人，有些可能只是生命里的过客，有的却可能是无所不谈，让自己真心以对的好知己。而往往这一切都得随缘，毕竟这些都是可遇不可求的吧！
活在这世界也有20年之久了，渐渐学会更加珍惜自己身边的人，事，物。也许部分原因是因为后悔太多次，错过太多次了吧。所以我要更加更加更加珍惜自己的家人和你们这些永远在我身后挺我，关心我，开导我，照顾我，呵护我的好朋友！要不是遇见了你们，怎么会有今天的伊莲呢？ 所以我要当你们身边永远为你分担心事，永远陪你一起哭一起笑的开心果！我要你们记住，我永远只是和你们隔着一通电话的距离而已哦!
最后，我只想说.......
我♥你们！

累，累，累。

having been feeling really tired these few days. what happen to my energy level?? i can understand that it depletes along every week. but this time, it has been running low right from the start of each day. and today is even worst! i even have problems keeping my eyes open in the morning and i felt really painful to keep them open. =( haix haix. guess i am physically drained. my brain feels dead too.

let's hope tmr ends soon. i want my beauty sleep!!!

hmm. i was kinda disappointed with some of my friends over presentation stuff. just feeling a little sick of having to take initiative to organise the meeting, asking around for answers, editing the slides. when you do things too often, people take it for granted and they treat it as something normal. that's the problem of having friends in a group. =(

为什么我总是那个给人依赖的人呢？难道我就不能偶尔依赖一下别人吗？从来不知道，原来太独立也是一种困扰。=( 有时真的觉得我们还是比较适合当朋友好了，而不是好朋友。因为你没有想象中的了解我，懂我。

one horoscope analysis which i felt it was really really accurate! even michelle thought so too! what do u think? =)

GEMINI - The Twin
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong.

saturday - a day which never fails to be the highlight of my week. =)

last saturday was another meaningful one.
besides our regular session that weekend, we also took up the project by southwest cdc to help them conducts surveys for the lower-income elderly located in taman jurong area.
this was an enriching experience as i got to know more about elderly from another background, namely those who are not so well-off in today's society.
i was touched to see how welcoming and grateful the elderly were when we came to pass them the goodie bags.
the smiles on their faces, the simple act of treating us to drinks are all heartfelt.
perhaps it was in such dire living conditions that make people more appreciative of these little acts of kindness.
sometimes, i really hope we can learn to be more generous to those who need a helping hand. even if we can't really improve their living conditions significantly, i still believe our little acts of kindness will be a great gift to them. =)

i still remembered telling peishan and shernise about a particular ah ma i came across while doing the surveys. and i told them i wanted to visit her once in awhile to just talk to her and keep her company.

this particular ah ma was staying in a 2-room flat with her caregiver. she needs to rely on her clutch for her movements and her son only visits her once a week. she doesn't understand chinese as such cilin and I had to try to use teochew to communicate with her when doing the survey. although i couldn't really respond to her fluently in that dialect, she told us about her leg surgery and later thank us repeatedly after we handled her the goodie bag.

shernise replied me that such elderly are very common in singapore and even if i could visit her for once, how long can i do this for?? and even if i can help this ah ma, there are still many others whom i can't possibly attend to.

i understand her point but i felt that even if i couldn't take care of all the elderly who needs my help and my company, i can still try my best to cater to as many elderly as i can just to care for them and brighten their lives. =) i know it might sound foolish or naive to some of you, but i believe i can just do whatever i can as long as it is within my means. and however small my effort is, i believe the elderly can somehow or another feel my love. =)