when effort or hard work doesn't yield the desirable results, perhaps we should just give up? yepps, that's wat i thought of previously when my results turned out to be disappointing. but i guess, i should just let go and just give my best shot at everything even if the results dun turn out to be satisfactory at least i would not have to regret that i havent given my best.

无数次不理想的成绩让我不断反省问题到底出在哪里。为什么和朋友读的是同一份讲义怎么会这样呢？努力过所以失败的滋味更加难受，期望越高失望越大，我想我真的感同身受。现实是残酷的，在这世上，也许真的很难找到一个可以不为了利益而生存的人，可以和自己真心相对的人。努力说服自己周遭的人可以很简单，却一次又一次的受伤, 一再被利用的滋味好难受！因为是朋友所以不介意帮忙，可是换来的结论却是自己变成了一个其他人可以透过得到利益的工具。有时真的会气自己为什么要一直帮他们，为什么自己不可以自私一点？也许这就是我的缺点吧。



最近喜欢上了一部偶像剧 - 《下一站，幸福》
故事和一般的偶像剧很不同，我觉得它很现实化，很自然，是一部可以很容易产生共鸣的戏。
男主角(任光晞)和女主角(梁慕橙)因为一场赌注而认识，女方的真诚让男方体会到这世上还有一丝的温暖，没有自己想象中的那么烂。就这样两个来自不同背景的人慢慢开始喜欢上对方。命运却是如此捉弄人，男方在这时诊断得了脑瘤而自己只剩下1个多月的时间。男方的病情变成了他和女方彼此之间的变奏曲，因为对男方而言，手术最大的代价即将是失去自己的记忆...=(
过后女方因为和男方的母亲的约定在手术过后离开了男方，女方生下了他们的孩子，而男方喜欢上了帮自己动手术还日日夜夜陪伴在身边的医生。6年后他们又相遇了，女方才了解自己对男方的爱情原来一直都没离开过，只是她记得，他却忘了...



所以我们都应该学会珍惜自己身边重要的人，不要等到失去过后才后悔...=)

dedicated to all my loved ones in my life..=)

yay! finally the hectic week is over..and i predict the next one will be equally as tiring but i am still looking fwd to it..maybe becoz it marks the end of all those quizzes and projects and the beginning for me to concentrate solely on my upcomin exams. =)


come to think of the past few weeks which i am stressed over with. i realise how stupid i was to put myself under such stressful conditions. even if i didnt do well for the tests that does not mark the end of the world? studies are just a part of our life journey but more often than not we became so obessessed with it that we tend to overlook some important things in life. perhaps it's just due to the fact that our one and only occupation now is just to concentrate on our studies which might be the reason why that is making us so stressed over results and the desire to do well. how i wish my 3yrs course and extend longer! =P

2 weeks without elders. 3 weeks to exams. 1 month to hols. how i wish i could fast fwd everything. =)

i should be studying for my 102 quiz tmr but i felt a sudden urge to blog..perhaps i am trying to find an avenue for me to 'escape' from the acad stuff that is driving me nuts. and i am afraid that i will simply fall into depression one day.

i have been feeling really low these few days coz of quizzes, tuts and reports to complete. the never-ending vicious cycle is draining my energy away each and every single day and this time i really cant stay optimistic as i used to be in the past. i am dreading school. i am getting tired. i am having difficulty moving on. sometimes i feel i am faking a smile to make ppl ard me less worried. but deep down inside, i feel so helpless! =(

i hate who i am now. i long to find back the optimistic gal i used to be. but it seems like a tall order at least for now... =(

sorry to make my friends worry for me. having to entertain me at wee hours in the night, i know it's hard on u guys too. but i am really grateful for what u all did. my heartfelt thanks to all of u. but i still feel kinda...haix.

agrr...this post is simply to reduce the stress i am facing! 感觉我要爆炸了。

i guess it's time to be selfish abit. i feel i am sacrificing too much of my studying time just to complete some stupid stuff i volunteered to do for my project group. i feel stupid seriously. i forgot i need to study, i need to have some time for myself!

haix haix haix. i hate this feeling! i wanna cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have survived this week! whee~~~after the torturous 2hrs sleep per day, i feel so proud of myself to have survived ALL my tuts and lects without ponning any of them! although there isnt 100% concentration for the tuts and lects but i believe it's good enough to have been able to pull thru all these. so i am satisfied! YAY! =)

although there wont be any regular sessions to look forward to till dec, somehow elders ppl can still bond using FB! haahx. i bet we are like spamming non-elders ppl homepage almost everyday. HEEX! =P anyway, i wanna plan a dinner soon! cant wait to eat with the gals and crapped for the last time before exams! =(

okok, next week is a cham cham week with 1 presentation and 1 quiz! Let's hope i dun screw anything more this time..

and this quote is sth i found while watching a mv...found it quite true..=)
"当爱情不再有热情时，诚实，是最后一道防线..."
一段变质了的爱情，尽管再怎么挽留也不能恢复以往幸福的滋味。不要因为自己舍不得放他走而拼了命的想挽留，所谓爱情应该是成全而并非占有。既然彼此之间已出现了裂痕，又何必强求去修补和掩盖呢？也许放手就是此刻最好的解脱。。。=)

i am finally back home! HAHA..have been missing home once i stepped out of the house every morning. =P


anyway, i am supposed to reach home earlier de ok? if not for 'uncle', i would have board the train and went home! i ended lessons at 10.10am so i was happily walking to the EEE bus-stop with jokemei and i saw chiawen and youfu walking in the opposite direction to school. this was my FIRST encounter with elders ppl after sat's event. =) board the bus to pioneer and uncle called me to ask where i was. and guess wat? he was at pioneer mrt station too, so i was 'dragged' back to sch by him just for a 1hr meeting. sobsob=( so suaaay lah!

如果一个人的感情可以随意开关，那该有多好。
很想当你的好朋友，为你分担心事，却害怕自己会情不自禁而越陷越深。
明明知道你的心里一开始就有另一个她，却还是停止不了对你的思念。
为什么我还在期待每天能和你在线上聊天，能和你在校园巧遇？
我想是时候把自己的感情埋在心里的最深处，在你身边当你可以信任的好朋友。。。
至少朋友可以永远陪在你身边。

S.H.E - 《不作你的朋友》
慢慢失忆
所有和你的事情必须忘记
爱的盆地
深怕在一滴眼泪就会决堤
我也不想　被你肯定
在这个时候说我
让你感动过
别握住我的手
说我一定会懂
作不成的爱人
变成最好朋友
别牵着我的手
想着别人脸孔
换个方式牵手
并不会更好过
可不可以不作你的朋友
慢慢心痛
没有人发现我和从前不同
你的眼中
看得见另一个人给的感动
我也不要你心疼我
在这个时候对我
比从前温柔
应该放晴的天气
还下雨　别这样下去
我难过　但是说不出口
一直逃避　我以為闭上眼睛就能忘记
我的记忆开始在雨天的七月二十三
慢慢经过我们一起绕过的十字街头
怎么走都走不到尽头
可不可以　别回头
可不可以　就放手
可不可以　不作你的朋友

the 2nd day without elders..

time just flies when we are spending time with those we enjoy being with.

we started out in june and now we are in the month of october. 4months just passed like the blink of an eye, everything seems as if they just took place yesterday. from june's dumpling event to aug's orientation, sept's flag day, camp christine rides, bbqs, garang guni and to oct's maf. so much events that took place within these 4 months, it's a hectic period but yet everyone enjoyed themselves. it was the miraculous bonding and family-like feeling that made everyone feel at ease when they are in elders.at least for me.


i can still vaguely remember how i was 'psycho-ed' to take on the role as a coordinator. i was very unprepared and i wasnt sure if i had the ability to lead and bring rspelders to a higher level. but these 4months proved that all my past concerns were so insignificant especially when u have the whole committee working together and supporting u thru all the events. perhaps the company matters the most at least for me=)


not sure if u gals will have the chance to read this, but this is dedicated to each and everyone of u...

to peishan aka the miss sooo bad
thanks for always being so thoughtful, and always taking care of our welfare and the little details...thanks for being the always 'kena suan-ed' person just to entertain us, dun take the words seriously coz u know we love u! and thanks for always being my listening ear!=)

to regine aka the miss jialat
thanks for being the 'da-jiejie' and always giving us very constructive advices during meetings and crapping sessions. i know it's hard for u to juggle between yr 3 workload and elders but i am glad u made it! continue to jiayou lots lots ok? also thanks for always being so concern over me and XX! hahahs..

to shernise aka 何'笑'姑
thanks for being the 开心果 of the comm, with u around the atmosphere will always be soo lively and cheery! ur laughter and 'siao siao' personality is what that makes u unique! so dun lose them, and continue to stay the way u are. *muackx*

to cilin aka my alliance
thanks for being the efficient fc and the gal who takes care of the numbers, without you none of our events would be possible. and thanks for standing by me to 'fight' off regine and peishan's suan-ing, and i believe we won almost all the time?! hahax..

to yuhan aka the miss always-dunno-what-we-talking
thanks for always ponning ur jap lessons to come for elders session, feeling bad for doing so. sorry! but really thanks alot for ur pnp efforts and continue taking photos to capture down the beautiful moments we had in elders!

to michelle aka the 最不neutral的neutral party
thanks for being the most enthu member apart from the 6 of us! and if u hadnt notice, u have actually become part of us during the 4months well-spent together. thanks for always being soo 话语惊人. hahahx. and next time share with us ur secrets nehx..=P

i am glad we took on the positions we are in now, without this as a stepping stone, we wouldnt have become such close friends and buddies within such a short time. it seems like i can forget all my worries and stress when i am with u gals. i can just simply be myself and set my mind at ease with all of u! =)

also, wanna thank my beloved group! HERSHEYS!!
thanks hersheys for being such a supportive group! all of u make my saturdays worth looking fwd to and i really enjoyed being ur gl. although it's hard to say whether u guys will all stay in elders thru out ur uni life, i am glad i had a chance to know all of u..and also thanks for tolerating/forgiving me this blur blur gl. =P
liya,denise,sirui,patricia,kelly,yingge,zhixin,sherlene,hueymei,carena,
shujun,jason,youfu and zuxing! LOVE YA ALL!

i am thankful we became friends within such a short time. continue to work harder and win her over man! 既然已经那么靠进了，就放胆去追吧！我会祝福你们！u are a nice person, and u deserve a good gal. jiayou jiayou! =)

feeling so screwed up for tmr's 202 quiz!!! alot of unanswered questions which is making me lose confidence. i feel so CUI! *sighs*

what i can do now is just keep trying and revising till i dropped dead...i can only believe in myself ~!! perhaps luck will be on my side tmr! =P 

counting down to 2 more days before aa202 quiz is over...it's so torturous to mug now! but i am prepared to stay up late just to finish the assigned readings! coz my energy seems to be quite lasting these days..hahahs.=P

i am looking forward to thurs night after the quiz! gotta come home to do some 'surprises'. HEHE!!!

back to mugging again. =P

looks like my blog has become my rant-out place now.
time is running out and but there are so many things undone on hand.

i just hope to complete my c-law report and accounting report and submit tmr but i dun want to stay for the wsc meeting at 7pm. *sighs* probably i should just fake an excuse not to go tmr since who will be in the right state of mind to go to sch twice a day neh? =P

i am looking forward to friday...=)

Falling For You (Colbie Caillat)
I don't know but I think i maybe
Fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe i should
Keep this to myself
Waiting 'til i
Know you better
I am trying
Not to tell you
But i want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So i'm hiding what i'm feeling
But i'm tired of
Holding this inside my head
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now i found ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you
As i'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me
I'm trying
Not to tell you
But i want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So i'm hiding what i'm feeling
But i'm tired of
Holding this inside my head
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now i found ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you
Oh i just can't take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now i found ya
I don't know where to
I think i'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you
I think i'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now i just can't hide it
I think i'm fallin' for you (x2)
I'm fallin' for you
Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh i'm fallin' for you

************************************************************
可能你还没能发现自己的小举动对我来说有多么的贴心，可是我都感受到了！谢谢你，我的好朋友！即使自己面对多大的课业压力，只要想起你和你的小动作就已足够让我感到一丝丝的欣慰和开心。不知不觉当中你已经走入了我的心里。。。开始期待每次和你的相遇。。。

我的天啊！

为什么我的脑袋瓜那么小，那么简单化呢？经常把复杂的东西简单化，虽然有偶尔有自己的好处，可是有些事情可能没有想象中的那么简单啊？！尤其是像Company Law这种难题！ 那可能那么简单啊？都说是LAW了， 如果那么容易，律师就不会总是鸡蛋里挑骨头来找一些蛛丝马迹了。

如果有一天我踏出社会了，即使触犯了法律，我可能还是懵懵懂懂的在问为什么。
死了啦，赶快让我的头脑复杂化！！！=X

sometimes i feel so helpless!!

whee!!! AD is over and i am glad we had lots of fun coz everyone was too crazy last night..hahax. and i think we really camwhored alot can, i bet we blast the memory space of the PnP's camera. i didnt know Elders ppl were so high after i became the coordinator. =)

it's a tough and long road ahead, but somehow i feel safe and at ease with u gals ard coz i noe i am not alone on this journey with me. 未来的事没有人能够预料，可是尽管如此，我还是会勇敢地走下去因为我知道你们都会在我的身边陪我走到最后。

从陌生人到普通朋友到知己，真的很不容易。如果这是上天的安排，我们都该学会珍惜，因为这些真的都得来不易。。。

不知道是怎样的一种缘分可以让我们放下各自的保户壳来用真心面对彼此，可是我希望我们日后可以成为更好的 "好朋友" ! =]