thanks man! came back to check my exams results and tadah! it was CUI. seriously i think i am struggling in my studies coz nbs people are simply too smart. why liddat?!!! 3 more sems to pull up my gpa and it really sucks to have the after-taste of failure everytime u tried ur best.
你知道那种心痛却哭不出来的感觉吗？那种泪水已被哭干，心也麻痹的感觉，真的好难受哦！故作坚强，故作乐观，或许是暂时让自己忘记伤心的感觉吧。不管怎样，我也不想带着悲伤的心情迎接新的一年, 要不然也太对不起自己了吧！加油伊莲!!!

hmm...let's talk abt my kukup trip. i guess it didnt turn out to be too bad? coz i found some people that i can really talk to and click with, which means i wont feel that lonely during future meetings anymore!=) *whee* but i guess i still cant get quite used to speaking too much to those whom i am not very close with. =P so to some, i might appear to be too quiet to them, but that's me and i just cant help it! perhaps it will take some time before they change their perception of me as they get to know me better! hahax.
现在的我过得很快乐，所以暂时不需要太大的改变，而且我也不想因为想和人沟通而改变原本的自己。或许想进入我的内心世界真的还需要多一点耐性和运气吧！=X

let's plan for elders' kukup trip man! i will be soooo looking forward to it=D

在多12个小时，我又要去另一个陌生的地方。心情是即复杂又兴奋吧。
复杂是因为相伴一起去的是我不是很熟识的朋友吧，所以还是会有一点担心会闷闷的。
兴奋是因为听说那里能让自己更贴近大自然，所以是一个很好让自己放慢脚步好好欣赏海浪声，风景的好地方吧! 或许我真的需要好好享受剩下的1个多礼拜属于自己的假期了… …
有时候自己会一直反复的问自己，到底找到心中那个真正了解自己的人了吗？那个人要懂我， 就算我不说什么，他/她也会知道我想什么，想做什么。真的好想知道几时才会遇见他/她，或或者他/她已经出现了，只是我还没察觉罢了。=)

“很多事一错过了就没办法再回头，尤其是 - 爱情。”
也许吧！爱情，友情，亲情。这三种都很难失而复得，所以都值得我们每一个人去好好珍惜，努力维持。=)

I guess that’s my last post before I return from kukup! Let’s hope it will be fine! =) Anything can msg me at 91269888! =) Gonna miss my home and my bed and of course U! =D

yesterday was rsp elders' xmas celebration and it turned to be a huge surprise for all of us...coz the event was simply heartwarming, joyful and a success! sometimes the fatigue simply just disappears when u c ur small gestures are returned for by the elderly's smiles. i guess that's the sense of satisfaction from every volunteering job. and another happier note is that i got to know more freshies and elderly. simply can't stop loving this bunch of cute volunteer, the elderly and of course my beloved elders comm! 你们让我好舍不得我这份‘工作’，好想好想永远做下去。真希望和你们在一起的时候，时间可以放慢一些，不要那么快流逝掉吧！因为我找到了更多能分享自己一切的好朋友兼知己，这应该是今年最大最大的收获吧！

a day well-spent with peishan and regine in the morning and amz gals in the afternn till the night falls..finally i seem to be enjoying my hols! hahax. and it feels good to see that true friendship never fades with time.=)simply love ya gals! thanks for the wonderful night filled with lots of laughter and tolerating my lame jokes for sooooo long. heex!

and it's christmas once again! and very soon it's 2010. this year is coming to an end very soon, but i guess it's one yr filled with a little of laughter, sorrow, happiness and lots of growing up. =) and i feel so proud of these little achievements that made me who i am today. *pats head* LOVE MYSELF AND EVERYONE THAT TAUGHT ME LOTS OF STUFF in 2009!

and nw i am gonna wish all of u a MERRY XMAS before i head to bed! enjoy and haf fun today! <3

came back from elders chalet! although it's just a <3days chalet but i really enjoyed the company of each and everyone of u! even if we dun really talk to each and everyone, but i will also feel at ease even when there is this awkward silence. hahax=D

here's the list of ppl to whom i wanna express my heartfelt gratitude to...

firstly, my wonderful comm members (peishan,regine,shernise,cilin,yuhan,michelle)
the never-ending support u gals have shown me in all the planned activities and events thus far, are really a main source of drive to just achieve the best in everything we do. sometimes i can't help but really wonder how different life would be if we weren't in this comm, perhaps we will miss out lots of laughter? fun? but most importantly...a great bunch of good friends and sisters! love ya, gals! *muacks*

secondly, the 'always-be-there for us' seniors(zhiwei,sirseng,eugene,chiawen,xinyu,abel,jingjing,meiling,kelvin,sueyuen...)
without fail, u guys will always be there to attend our gatherings and events! even if we dun really say it out explicitly, ur attendance for these misc activities are wat that really matters to us most. UR supportiveness have really touched our hearts deep deep ya? =)

thirdly, the cute bunch of freshies that always cheers us up with everything they do (linghui,wuanchin,shikiat,zuxing,yiheng,yuanlin,youfu,johnny...)
i guess all of u are just very unique in ur own ways and it's really our blessing to have all of u in elders. and i am really glad we had the opportunity to know each other! =)

okok..enuff for my naggy paras. and i guess it's time to take a rest! =P

finally met up with rsp elders ppl! they just dun fail to make my day when i meet them. the jokes, the laughter and their simplicity just makes me happy! and i am looking forward to the chalet tmr!!! whee~~~ an escape from the emails and work again and just slow down my footsteps to enjoy life.=) laughter is the best medicine in life!

原以为自己可以让心暂时停止跳动，可是有些事却还是阻止不了。

I am back from my aussie trip! A heart-warming holiday well-spent with my parents, aunts and my beloved grandma (paternal) that I meet annually. =) although this hols wasn’t one with lots of photos nor one where I went on a crazy shopping spree, but it was one that left a deep impression in me. Perhaps it was the company that matters most… and I feel guilty all these yrs for not being by my grandma’s side and doing my part as a grand-daughter =( I feel so sorry for her with all her grand-daughters not by her side since we are either in S’pore or Melbourne.. she is unable to witness the growth of her grand-daughters nor talk to us like what a grandmother does since young. Haix. Sometimes, I wish I could talk more fluent Cantonese to connect with her and chat to her non-stop bah=) I just want to give her the best whenever I am with her to make up for the years lost not beside her…是时候把流失的时光给追回了！不要等到失去后才后悔！

最近反复的一直在听杨丞琳的《匿名的好友》
獨送昏暗莫離的風
回憶裡被愛
那股激動 天色好紅
溫柔好濃 在胸口浮現你的臉容
一起活在這城市迷宮 提起你名字
心還跳動 卻沒重逢
只留下碰卻又不敢碰的那種激動
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂 走進各自天空
該怎麼說 讓彼此選擇
但思念還轉動

不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔

當又一次美夢落空
回憶裡被愛那股激動
天色好紅 溫柔好濃
在胸口浮現你的臉容
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂 走進各自天空
那是什麼 讓彼此選擇
又不僅是尊重

不能握的手 從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔

不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著 依然執著
卻決心和你不再聯絡
不能握的手
卻比愛人更長久
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的擁有 最永久
其中最爱这段歌词
“不能握的手， 從此匿名的朋友。
其實我的執著 依然執著，卻決心和你不再聯絡。
不能握的手，卻比愛人更長久…”

也许一段有遗憾的爱情，分手了，即使想 继续当朋友也只能当匿名的好友。
也许一段被错过的爱情，留下的遗憾或许也是另一种幸福，应为你可以一直待在他的身边，默默的爱着他吧。